What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize