I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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