I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
