4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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