i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
