haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
