I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
