i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
