it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
