So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Randomize
