Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
