even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
