She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
