if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
