i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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