I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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