Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
