i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
