My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
