i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
