Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
