I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my shit smells like andre
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
