Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
