I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
