Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
