this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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