I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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