yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
