She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
