Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
