Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
