Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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