He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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