Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
