I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
