whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
