The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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