you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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