OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
