I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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