Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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