were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
