just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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