theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
