i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
