Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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