I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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