I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
