who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
