gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
