i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Randomize
