you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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