yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
