Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
