I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you win again, gameday.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
don't judge my taste in strippers
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
