Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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